New TV Show Idea: Wife Factor

I don't watch that much TV but when I do make the rounds on the channels I come across some pretty fucked up shit. As I sit in the dark in my underwear, embossed by the radiation glow of my entertainment center I think to myself... If these pieces of shit show can get on TV, then my ideas are gold. So here's an idea of a new TV show that will turn TV on its head.

I call it Wife Factor. Forget about the cutesy show about people swapping wives in sitcom style opposites, Wife Factor takes the swapping concept and adds in true reality of societal conflicts. Fuck the Amish women being brought into the city or the religious nutball swapping with an atheist. No way. Wife Factor will make you wonder if people will get out alive.

Of course my show can only be seen on cable.

Here's the first few episodes of Season 1 that I have sketched up.

Episode 1: On No You Di'nt

Mrs. Jones

Mrs. Whitfield

We start the season off with two families in Detroit, MI,

the Jones and the Whitfields. Ironically they only live 3 blocks apart in southern Detroit yet they seem to live on two different worlds. The Jones are staunch anti-white family. Raised in the mindset that the financial destruction of Detroit is purely because of the white man. Mr. Whitfield is a manager of the local bank that denied the Jones a mortgage extension and is currently foreclosing their house and kicking them out on the street. Secretly Mr. and Mrs. Whitfield are members of the last remaining white only country club in the country. See the crazy antics when the wives switch places.

Episode 2: Ball and Chain

Mrs. McCoy

Mrs. Ballington

Another episode takes us to Arkansas' meth land where we are introduced to
the Ballingtons and the McCoys. The McCoys are a wild bunch. Mr. McCoy is a raging meth addict that beats Mrs. McCoy on a regular basis, so she's ready to make the swap. Mrs. Ballington is a recovering alcoholic and Vicodin addict and Mr. Ballington is heavily into BSDM where he's the dominatrix. I forgot to mention that in Wife Factor all aspects of the wife's duties are expected to come along with the exchange, that includes in the bedroom. Watch what happens with this recovering addict gets close to a controlling addict and how on earth will a wife that's beaten regularly deal with being dominated by a guy in a latex suit with a whip.

Mr. Ballington

Explosive Season Finale

Woman

Mrs. Wineberg

We will wrap up the first season with a bang. The ultimate Wife Factor match
up that take us over seas to the Holy Land. Here we get familiar with the Winebergs an American born Jewish family that relocated back to Israel. The other family, the Husseins, have been specifically trained to carry on the Jihad against all the infidels. Mrs. Hussien, just called woman, changes places with Mrs. Wineberg in this action packed season finale. Will we find out if anything is underneath that burka or will Mrs. Hussien discover the joys of Mazza balls? Tune in to find out!

The crazy, wacky family crossings are almost limitless in today's society. Each episode of course will drive toward a common message of unity and that our problems are petty.. blah blah blah. But sometime conflicts need to be resolved in other means.

It's a good idea that will get the ratings. Probably will never get picked up as "Too Dangerous" or some pussy crap. The viewers want it... this show won't end up on Lifetime or Logo but someone will pick it up.

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Minnesota House Passes Gay Marriage Bill

The Minnesota House just passed the gay marriage amendment 75 to 59. Great, wonderful, super... can we all go back to work now?

Church goers will scream and shout for a few more months and the supporters will rub it in our faces for a little while longer. If it makes it through the Senate to the Governor the news will have a huge story on the 'first' couple to get married unionized under the new law. Which they should.

It's all about legal protections here not religious connotations. That simple. Legal recognition. I supported it, this is a civil and proper thing to do for the equality and decency of society. If your church holds gay marriage ceremonies and you don't like it, take it up with your clergy or leave for another church that supports your religious views. But legally they deserve the right... including abiding to all divorce laws and penalities as well.

Two more steps through Minnesota politics and they will get it and hopefully one of the newlyweds will go back to curing cancer for us.


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Minnesota Voting On Same-Sex Marriage - Stop The Madness

Minnesota is going to vote on same sex marriage this week. I am fucking sick and tired of hearing about it. Not because of the issue at hand but because the politicians, separation of church and state, are trying to merge church and state to argue against this.

I have blogged about this issue a few times in the past. Even though I am a political Conservative I would consider myself a social Libertarian. That basically means that I don't give a flying fuck what other people do as long as they follow the law and don't push their shit onto me. Outside of that mind your own fucking business, live your life, pursue happiness and I will do the same.

The Gay Marriage supporters are pissing me off trying to make themselves out to be some oppressed group of slaves from the fashion shows of France trying to make it to the new frontier, calm down. The opponents are saying it will rip the fabric of this country and taking the arguments from the pages of interracial marriage in the 50s and 60s. What century is this?

This country has far bigger problems that already is destroying this country slowly than allowing two people to be happy and gain the legal protections and rights and a man and a woman.

That's my point. Marriage is a religious term. A marriage ceremony is conducted with a religious figure under the eyes of a religious deity. To make the 'marriage' legal in the eyes of the state you need to sign a legal document, called a marriage certificate, which then applies all the laws for that union. Change the word marriage to union and shut the fuck up. Who cares? Really?

If two people want to get unionized in the eyes of the state for legal, inheritance, power of attorney, medical decisions, financial reasons, estates, and so on... WHY THE FUCK NOT?

If I agree or disagree with the moral compass of two same sex people getting married and having a life long, happy relationship is irrelevant. To be honest I have more problems with men and women who are on their 4th, 5th, 6th marriages and don't take the vows of commitment seriously. Divorce is not an option once you make the leap of a life long commitment.

That's more devastating to the moral fabric in this country than same sex marriages. Women having children repeatedly with different fathers, creating a home with no structure, raising thugs and tax payer sucking wastes of space is a bigger issue than this. However, same sex unions could be adopting the unwanted children... hmm, I may be onto something there.

One more thing to add about the right wing religious extremists who publicly protest around this issue. They follow Jesus. Jesus said to love all, teach them the way. They ignore this and speak hate, violence, death and some perform acts of violence. They believe those that sin goto hell. They aren't trying to teach the word. Therefore they believe the gays are going to hell and they are going to heaven. They aren't sobbing for their fellow gay brothers that aren't saved so why do they care if they burn for eternity? I don't get it... yes I do, they are fucking insane. They bring balance to the force to off set the left side insane fuck nuts. That's it.

I am so glad society has that cure for cancer, diabetes, AIDS, and every other wasting disease so we can focus so much time on these lower social issues...

P.S. - The gay marriage hero, Chris Kluwe, wasn't cut from the Vikings because of his outside, public involvement in this issue alone. He got cut because he was on the team for 9 years, was over paid for his on field performance. Business is business... however him not having an NFL job will hurt his upcoming book sales as his platform for PR of that book will be lessened.

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Some NBA Player Came Out Of The Closet... So What?

Today the World Headlines were bleeding with the news that an NBA player came out as gay. To start off reporting the facts as accurately as I can, he's a free agent which means he's teamless at the moment. What a good way to get his name out eh?

Anyway the news, the left, the hippies, the christians, the gays, the straights are all going apeshit over this news. As I see the news stories fly by I am sitting in the dark trying to figure out how cancer was cured, war was averted anywhere and the economy was back on track. Who gives a flying rat shit about this?

I commend Jason Collins, good for him, but in the same sentence... so what? Really, who cares about this guy's or anyone's private life? Hmm? The left applaud this to remind everyone that we should hate gays so we can like them and grow from this. You see all the Gay Lesbian Transgender Gender Confused crowds need some hatred to thrive. If people didn't give a shit then they would have no reason to live, just go ask the Liberation of Straight People of America... right, they don't exist.

Jason isn't the first celebrity to come out. He's not the first professional sports player to come out (maybe the first active if he finds a team to play on). He's not the first black man. He's not the first gay over 6 feet tall. It's not a new topic. So why is there so much focus on this? Are the slanted new organizations going to give this much coverage to the first open Steel Worker, Postal Worker, Uptown Minneapolis Bartender?

I go back to my straight is best mentality argument. You have a straight as an arrow CEO. He's a man and loves women. In your hate filled mind he's A.O.K. His receptionist is a carpet munching lesbian that has been with the same women for 20 years and has 3 college bound adopted children. Awful human being that will burn in hell.

Now, that straight CEO, that loves women only, likes sex when that women shoves a dildo up his anus, steps on his testicles with stilettos and poops on his chest. It's with a women so that's just fine right?

Behind the scenes humanity is no ones business. Focus on character, integrity, heart, mind, soul.

For fuck sake, the more you parade this issue out there the more the true hate will be fed. At the end of the day the average American over-taxed payer doesn't give a shit. Tomorrow this story will be forgotten and poor Jason will still be a free agent or get a pity sign. It doesn't matter he's just locked him self up with a 7 figure speaking gig for the next two years. That was a good business decision.

One more thing. Hey Christians that protest so much against this... angry protests isn't professing the teaching of Jesus Christ to show people the way to salvation. Unless you do that, according to you, they will burn in hell and you won't. So why all the focus adding more attention to an issue you despise unless you will teach them the way, hmm? Shut the fuck up and go enjoy heaven in peace.

The world is bored. The world needs an alien invasion bad. An alien visit isn't enough, we need to take all our pent up Earthly domestic issues out on some new foes. Teach some alien bullies how hard humans will fight to keep their planet free to fight amongst ourselves.

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Psy: Gentleman - Another Song You Want To Hate But Can't

The Korean pop uber-star does it again. Following up his mind rotting song Gangnam Style, Psy releases Gentlemen. This song and video are as mind numbing, feet tapping, get out of your chair body moving motivator as you don't want it to be. 

Gentlemen is catchy, fun, and a fucking earwig. I hate it and love it at the same time. This will be around all year and will keep Psy on your screens for a little while longer. 

I don't know if it's intentional, if it is it's brilliant, but his music videos look like they are made by a college class that pieced it together from borrowed lights from a DJ friend and filmed it wherever someone gave them permission. It's great and actually I think it's better than the over produced, hurricane fan, fart face pop music videos that are created in America. Shit.

Sit back and watch it and try to keep your head from beginning to bob, feet tap, or an overwhelming urge to jump in there and do the new Junior High School dance move of the Gentlemen hip swing with your hand on your chin move.

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North Korea's Threats Should Scare You

Kim Jong-Un, "leader" of North Korea, has been doing more than saber rattling and penis waving to the world threatening nuclear attacks he is showing signs he's actually prepping to use them.

This is not news story number one, it's being mentioned, but there is no national effort to truly show what could happen. Instead the FUD (Fear Uncertainty and Doubt) that the mainstream "media" wants the country to focus on is gun control. Gun control, heavily armed citizens, proud Americans willing and able to defend their country. That has and continues to make any 'invading' militaries think twice about stepping foot on this great land with the possibility of an armed citizen hiding behind every blade of grass.

However, an army or regime doesn't need to place one soldier within 1,000 miles of America to destroy it. North Korea has the potential of delivering that mortal blow. An Electromagnetic (EMP) Attack. North Korea's missiles do not necessarily have to have range to hit America, only to be able to reach the upper level of the atmosphere and detonate. In theory, a theory that was experienced in the 50s over Hawaii, a nuclear explosion in the upper atmosphere can send an electromagnetic charge of massive scale out for hundreds of miles.

Think about that for a second. North Korea launches a nuke in the direction of the west coast of the United States. The ICBM was able to slip past all the missile shield and ICMB busting toys that the U.S. has been setting up in the waters off North Korea and continue it's flight toward us. But instead of barely reaching the one city off the coast it detonates 75 to 100 miles up. The EMP super charges the particles in the atmosphere and sends out massive electrically charged wave toward the ground. Biologic subjects on the ground would probably never see the explosion, hear anything or feel anything. Harmless. But all the electronics, cell phones, car computers, electrical transformers, PCs, traffic signals, water plant pumps, alarm systems, hospital generators, TVs, radios and so one.

Basically it will take everything west of the Mississippi back to the pre-industrial era. An entire population that is 100% dependent on technology of some form in the dark. The fear alone would turn civilized people into panicked animals and tear the fabric of the country apart.

This is what North Korea can deliver without touching the ground with soldiers or bombs. The media is not telling this to you. Where is the PR campaign like the Duck and Cover Turtle for personal stockpiling of food and water? We are being told in the wake of the financial crisis to save for 3 to 6 months of employment in an emergency but nothing is being told about collecting cans of veggies, cases of water, OSHA medical kits for 'disasters'.

Are you prepared if the lights go out and will not come back on for months or years?

Are you prepared for roaming bands of starving, armed gangs looking to survive?

Are you understanding that North Korea may not have the traditional nukes targeting our cities but one properly detonated nuke in the atmosphere can cause MORE destruction to this country than 10 localized bombs?

If you think that I am a little crazy and paranoid take a second look at our military's response to North Korea. Thus far they have activated the Missile Shield in Alaska, moved several missile targeting destroyers off the coast of North Korea, switched on ICMB tracking (and possible busting) satellites, and sent B-2 Stealth bombers to the area. These are the things that have been reported. I am confident there are a few far more advanced anti-ICBM toys the military has up its sleeve to try out.

This is serious shit and the coverage and preparation messages to the population is horrible. An enemy doesn't have to lay waste to America only disrupt it to the point that America will destroy itself.

If you know how to read then you need to read a book called One Second After. It's a fiction book about an EMP attack on the United States and it follow a small mountain town and all the things that can and probably will happen.


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To All The Kids Who Survived Prior To The 70s

This came across my Wal-Mart purchased, press board oak looking desk and I felt I needed to post it.

==================================================

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald
tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.

We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.

And, we weren't overweight.

WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have PlayStation, Nintendo's and X-boxes.

There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS

And we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
\
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks. Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us.. ..go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us...pass this on.


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The Ex Girlfriends - Whatchya Lookin At? Music Video

The Internet does not disappoint. When you think you have seen the worst of the worst, the Internet provides more and more.

Stumbling around cybertubes I came across an apparently serious 'musical' group called The Ex Girlfriends. Here's their website, focusing primarily on Lupe Fuentes.

After watching the video and reading their bio on the website I am not really sure what I am looking at.

The Ex Girlfriends look like they were spawned when the Spice Girls and the Pussycat Dolls were in a Los Angeles orgy in the purest, most stereotypical porn set. All that biological material was then put into a Magic Bullet and inserted into the Octomom for birthing then raised in a Cheech and Chong movie.

The girls look sticky to the touch.

I hope this is a viral joke because this is almost as bad as Rebecca Black's Friday song

Auto tune does not make you a singer.

Impress me, do an unplugged version of this and prove you can carry a note.

You watch and judge for yourself.

The Internet giveth always.

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Jim Carrey Has Lost His Mind - Cold Dead Hand Video

Jim Carrey released is semi-hyped, anti-gun music video today and it's stuff full with as much crap as you would have thought. The summary of the song is that all gun owners are heartless, soulless evil people. This is coming from a guy who helped out on the anti-Vaccine crusade, because it causes Autism, with Jenny McCarthy. Then the joke was that McCarthy's son didn't have autism after all... whoops. Hundreds of children have died this year alone from the flu because they didn't get their flu vaccine. Thanks again Jenny, make sure you use lots and lots of soap get get the blood off your hands.

Back to Jim Carrey's new insane campaign, anti-guns. He's not saying more gun control, stiffer penalties, focus on the evil, nope. He created a music video mocking Hee Haw, Charlton Heston, and figures that have been killed by guns. John Lennon, Lincoln, etc...

The song is pretty catchy, but the lyrics are atrocious.

You watch Jim sing along doing his Andy Kaufman dance and judge for yourself.

Cold Dead Hand with Jim Carrey from Jim Carrey

I took a screenshot of a split second cut of a guy in the video.

Is that Tom Brady?

Tom Brady?

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Beat that hangover!

We've all had those nights where we go out with friends to have a few drinks and then a long night turns into an even longer one. Then you wake up the next morning (hopefully in bed) with little remembrance of how the night ended and worse, you know all of your insides want to be on the outside: The dreaded DT's.

There are of variety of theories on how to recover from this: eat a greasy breakfast, drink Gatorade, eat toast, or just deal with the effects.

DISCLAIMER:  I am NOT a medical doctor and I do not have the slightest training in the medical field. So, take what I'm about to say at your own risk.

Joe Nobody and I have a good buddy that we'll call Nobody Bill, Nobody Bill likes his booze. A lot. I whole lot. Nobody Bill happened to be talking to a former nurse who gave this strange advice:

Take 4 Children's Chewable Flintstones Gummie Vitamins in the morning and every 2 hours after as needed.

When he told me this, it sounded goofy. But, he swore up and down that it works.

Last week, I had the opportunity to try it. Another nobody and I went to see a comedian on Thursday night. We ended up hanging out with said comedian after the show and I had a few too many (I rarely drink anymore.)

The next morning, I felt as described in paragraph one, so on my way to work I grabbed a bottle of Flintstones Gummies and ate four of them. Now, I don't know if it was the placebo effect, but within moments, I shit you not, I felt better. Normal actually.

Now, I cautioned above that this remedy may not be for everyone. There is something to having too many vitamins that make you very ill. But, I didn't experience that. But, it's at least one more weapon in the arsenal to fight the hangover.

-Nobody Jon

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