February 11, 2012

Dead Pool Update - Whitney Houston

Update your dead pools, Whitney Houston has died at the age of 48. At the time of my update, the location and cause are unknown. It may have been an accident, but regardless of how she passed, she has needs to be looked at as the example of how drugs can fuck you up.

If I were in charge of anything, the Super Bowl would just play Whitney Houston's rendition every year until the end of time. Since then, no one has been more up lifting or inspiring with the national anthem. This was back in 1991, 21 years ago and this still gets played everywhere. The Bellagio plays this for the fountains.  How many artists have sung the anthem at the Super Bowl since and how many are replayed like this one? None. They can't even come close.

So sad, but when you fuck around with heroin, cocaine, meth you get what's coming to you, I don't have any  pity for the person, but feel sadness for the wasted talent God graced her with. 



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This has been another Joe movement.
Twitter @joenobody

January 29, 2012

Things That Piss Me Off

 There are things in this world that just piss me the fuck off. Most things mentally deficient humans are behind them but other things are just there and we have to deal with them. As I sit here in the dark 22 hours into my daily 23 hour solitary confinement I thought I would write a few down for your enjoyment. 

Things that piss Joe Nobody the fuck off

  • The cocksucker in the white car that he drives like it's an Indy car but really it's just stock off the lot piece of shit... and why is it always white... this mother fucker who comes up on your ass like lightning when you are already speeding, you move over then flies by you, changes lanes then hits his brakes and you end up passing him again later down the road. Then he zig zags back and does it again. I wish I could get in behind him, get him loose and send him into the dividing wall in a fire ball or in the ditch and watch his rag doll body fly out of the car as it rolls. 
  • When I grab the ketchup bottle and forget to shake it up and I get a pool of red, period water on my plate.
  • Pepole who clip their fingernails in public. I want to set those people on fire where they sit. Yes, they are inconsiderate. Yes, they don't realize they are doing personal hygene in the open. Yes, these stupid motherfuckers just let the nails fly and don't bother cleaning them up.
  • People who voluntarily go into stores then bitch about the prices. Go back to your homeland at WalMart fucktard.
  • God damn hippes.
  • Occupy frauds.
  • People who vote based on the party and not on the candidate's qualities. I hate the electoral college too but it removes the voter's retardation.
  • The guy who acts like he's super busy at the car repair shop, pacing, talking on his phone repeatedly to a phantom person about how awful the service he is getting, most of the time wearing a white shirt and tie and all the time just asking for the other customers hold him down and pour the complimentary hot coffee over his testicles.
  • There is an equation that the larger and more top end the SUV the smaller in physical size and bigger the cunt-ness the woman driving it has, they piss me off.
  • Mothers who let their kids that commonly have unkept moppy hair, popscicle stained lips, shitty clothes yet the mothers are dressed like high end cougar hookers, run around the stores unchecked causing choas then give you a How Dare You look when you tell them to shut their happy hour mistakes up or I will shove them into the meat grinder to the applaud of the other patrons.
  • The Kardashians making millions for doing absolutely nothing.
  • Paris Hilton for fucking on tape and making millions for doing absolutely nothing and looking like an anal blister.
  • Jersey Shore, the concept, the popularity, the never ending joke.
  • Aliens... just for the fact they haven't invaded us or introduced themselves to save the Earth from ourselves. 
  • Religions.... guess what, it's the same God. Jokes on all of us dumbshits.
  • Glee

Plenty more, but this will do.

 

This has been another Joe movement.

 

January 22, 2012

Update Your Dead Pool: Joe Paterno

What do you mean? They were just wrestling in the showers...
Update your Celebrity Dead Pools - Joe Paterno.

Joe Paterno has passed away from lung cancers and the young age of 85. Less than 4 months after his firing from Penn State. He is the most winningest coach in history, but when you coach for 1,759 years you basically get the numbers whether you are good or not. So take it with a grain of salt. Either way an icon is gone.

Many in the world hoped and prayed that Jerry Sandusky would fall ill with cancer and carry on a very long, painful fight which he would eventually lose as he drowns in his own blood because he can no longer cough it out of his system... but the prayers in this case were not answered.... yet.

Joe Paterno will go down not as the master football coach and icon but as the hardest, biggest, and most embarrassing fall from grace that we have seen. Tragically when you take someone out forcibly of a life of 50 years of routine and comfort the body and mind can't take massive change easily and this was the result. A complete shutdown to the end.

Joe's firing was a death sentence.

RIP.

This has been another Joe movement.

January 17, 2012

I Ended A Life Today

I ended a life today. 

I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about it, I guess nothing is a feeling but there is no way to be sure if that's the correct one. Throughout the day it has plagued my mind, not the event of removing a life from the world, but whether or not I am expected to have any remorse about it. 

It wasn't my fault, I was put into a situation that left me no choice. There was an out, an escape, an alternative to the situation at hand but those avenues were not taken. A conscious decision was made to continue down a path of destruction, a path I was traveling on. The day did not deliver a message to be that I was going to kill few short hours later otherwise I could have prepared myself, warned others, worked toward a different outcome. I could have stopped and screamed at the top of my lungs to get out of my way.... but I did not.

I ended a life today.

As the event unfolded suddenly and without warning, time slowed. Every muscle movement could be seen in great detail, hesitation in the eyes turned to fear as I came into view. Clear as glass were the actions once it started, as soon as I became committed there was no turning back. They knew it, I knew it. Perhaps by an underlying premonition or senses beyond my knowledge, death could be felt in the air. In a matter of seconds from start to finish it was over. I left death in my wake. 

I tried to carry on through the day without thinking about it, without worrying if anyone would find out that I caused that body to lie there broken, motionless. Surprisingly it was easy to forget or suppress I am not sure how to tell the difference anymore. Not until I passed by the location later this evening did I think about that situation today. 

Lifelessness.

I will only mention this situation once and after today I will never speak of this again... 
.....unless my boss asks me why I was late to the office today and I explain to him that wouldn't have been if I didn't have to stop at the car wash if that fucking squirrel didn't cut back halfway across the street.

This has been another Joe movement.

January 6, 2012

GOP Candidates, A Joe Breakdown

Let's breakdown what the GOP has to offer in their chase to dethrone Obama.

Mitt Romney 


Rick Santorum - Lawyer and Former Senator




Ron Paul






























Newt Gingrich




























Rick Perry































Or you can stick with Obama
















This has been another Joe movement.